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Pointless pony tips #7061 by Jittery-the-Dragon Pointless pony tips #7061 by Jittery-the-Dragon
Pony Belly Rubs Per Minute is a whole other kettle of fish.
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:icon77madman:
77madman Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016
I love how it isn't "Thoughts of murder" its instead "Actual thoughts of murder" just so you known that shit is getting real.
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You gotta make sure people know you're serious.
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:icon77madman:
77madman Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2016
Indeed Juttery the Dragon, indeead
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:iconhappy-note:
Happy-Note Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thoughts of murder..
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
MURDER
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:iconajksob:
Ajksob Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Teaching people how to pet ponies is never pointless.
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:iconp3r0:
P3r0 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahahaha, thats great. :D
No I know what I did wrong...
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:iconflame486:
Flame486 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2015
You're patting me too fast! Stop doing that! 
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:iconcontramuffin:
ContraMuffin Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
N(μ,σ), where μ = 41 and σ = 7.75
For optimal results, maintain a pppm of between +-0.5 standard deviations.
Do not perform past 2 standard deviations away from the mean.
However, N may not be appropriate due to a skew in the left direction.

Sorry. I just had to.
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:iconrandomrichards:
RandomRichards Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2015
What should I do if the pony gets a wingboner?
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:iconfotland42:
fotland42 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2015
See, this is why I stick to dogs. I have never once been murdered by a dog for getting the pets per minute wrong.
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
xd
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:iconabzde:
abzde Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Dogs have a much higher tolerance to pets per minute.
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
your picture. Is just hilarious
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:icontimeywimeyponies:
timeywimeyponies Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
My pony has killed me from poor PPPM and I am a ghost. How do I fix this?
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are far too late, but I would recommend you invest in more products like whatever is allowing you type on a keyboard despite being a ghost. Also haunt someone, it's fun.
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015
Your sence of humor is killing me!!
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Whoops, sorry about that!

R.I.P
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2015
Hahahaha! Why did you not used Fluttershy instead of Rainbow Dash.
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
A foolish mistake, I guess.

I have dishonored you, so now I must commit sudoku.
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:iconjeroen01:
jeroen01 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015
So your gonna play a puzzle game? When I saw this reply I just starded laughing again XD. Your sence of humor is great man. How do you come up whit it?

Also, I have a little problem. I have ponies in my house. I already called some one to remove them. But they keep coming back. What to do?
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Put up a sign that says "free ponies" in front of your house.
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(1 Reply)
:iconmidnightwonko:
MidnightWonko Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
Ominous music is playing. So THAT'S where it's coming from. Oh, what a relief to know I'm NOT insane!
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, that's always there, you get used to it after a while.
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:iconzekromnlr:
zekromnlr Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
For starting and stopping a petting session, how fast should the PPPM be increased from 0 to optimum/be decreased back from optimum to zero?
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You'll need to start with about 22 PPPM, and increase to the optimum level in about two minutes. Slow down at the same rate, but stop before entering the red zone, as you'll confuse your pony otherwise. Remember to have your phone ready on quick-dial to your nearest hospital, just in case.
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:icontigreanpony:
tigreanpony Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
I don't think that is very pointless. SWhat a good tip here.
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:iconnapalmdrinker:
napalmdrinker Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
The answers to these comments are just too funny XD
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:iconschneelocke:
schneelocke Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
But if your pony melts into a literal puddle, you've probably done a little TOO well.
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:iconlupus1970:
lupus1970 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
What happens if the PPPM gets too high?
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Significant amounts of death may occur. If death occurs to you, please consult a doctor.
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:iconfralleman:
FralLeman Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
Question...if one eventually stops petting...does the Poor PPPM  effect occur?  I've been going for hours, and just finally managed to get this site using my toes.  Please help!  My arms are about to fall off!
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This depends on the pony, but mostly it is a good idea to vacate the area once you stop petting, possibly the country.
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:iconfralleman:
FralLeman Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015
"Arms won' move...CAN'T OPEN DOOR!  ...Tell my cat I always thought he was annoyi-"
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
RIP
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:iconconceptbro:
Conceptbro Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is serious business 
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:icontigergeekguy:
TigerGeekGuy Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
This is hilarious. Great job!
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:iconpony-kour:
Pony-kour Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Pointless pony tips # 7062: How to manage a pony gone feral.
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Holy water usually helps.
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:iconminibinaz:
minibinaz Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
Useful
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:iconbbasco2:
bbasco2 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
Ominous music is playing.
Something like this perhaps?
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:iconanimatorsnake:
Animatorsnake Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015
If i had a pony (for example Rainbow or Trixie) I think ends well that goes well or for those to understand what I said, yeah I think I'd make a good owner
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
THe bones of the last victim?!
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
He petted too much, and payed the iron price.
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Too much petting?
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:iconjittery-the-dragon:
Jittery-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Way too much. Slow down.
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:iconrexlare:
Rexlare Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
But they're so cute! I wanna pet them for days!
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:iconwertyla:
Wertyla Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This also applies to cats. :D
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:iconorigami1105:
Origami1105 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
*Pets her 44.5 times* Am I doing it right? *RD starts looking at me with malicious intents* Uhhhh...Good girl? *backs away slowly* Please don't move! *runs away but trips on a bone* WHY!?
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